By using this site, you affirm your consent to the following policy:
We track everything you click on, hover over, or drag across while you are interacting with this website. We know your Internet Protocol (IP) address, and can probably cross-reference that back to your full name, Social Security Number, and date of birth. We would then be able to correlate that information with your current, former, and future addresses; employers; home, work, and cell phone numbers; credit lines; and bank account balances.
We also know the last website you visited and the one you go to after you leave here.
If you fill out any forms, participate in any polls, send us a message via our Contact Us page, or otherwise manage to provide any personal information to us, we'll keep that on file for as long as we feel like without regard to who might have access to it. We may share it either deliberately or inadvertently on this or other web sites, in print, in person, or using any other technology, whether it exists now or in the future.
You might think that this information retention policy could result in abuse.
You'd probably be right.
In fact, we're not at all afraid to call up your significant other in the middle of the night to reveal your surfing habits, to gossip about you with your friends and enemies, and to point at you and laugh if we encounter you in public or private. Our children and neighbors, random burglars, and other complete strangers will probably come across all of your personal data and use it for their own nefarious purposes.
So don't do anything stupid.
Also, this site has links to other sites, over which we have no control and for which we accept no responsibility. Those sites will likely have even more egregiously intrusive privacy policies than this one.
Furthermore, the advertisers on this site use a variety of methods to track your behavior before, during, and after your visit here. We have no control over what they do with your personal information, and specifically disclaim any liability for what they do.
Finally, we reserve the right to change this policy at any time and in any way, without notice to you or anyone else.
So don't rely on this policy to stay as friendly as it is.